The year is 2010 and 18yr old high school senior me was looking for a new part time job. The local big name movie theater was hiring, So I threw out an application, and the horrors of the next 5 years I would endure couldn’t possibly be comprehended.
I’ve taken some time to reflect and wanted to reveal some behind the scenes secrets of theaters that may change the way you look at your movie going experience (and maybe affect your behavior as a moviegoer).
The popcorn is fresh, stop asking,
Everyone wants “fresh popcorn” when in reality, poppers are running from the moment the theater opens (actually about an hour prior) to the moment they close, so Popcorn is literally ALWAYS fresh. Also, all the chemicals in it keep the popcorn way longer than nature intended, and venders throw out old popcorn every hour or so.
The popcorn is hilariously bad for you.
Forget the adage of “popcorn is a healthy snack”. Movie theater popcorn has enough oil and salt in it WHEN ITS POPPED than any human would ever voluntarily eat (actually having worked there, I know that isn’t true). Add in the “butter flavoring” (at about 120 calories PER TABLESPOON) and you have yourself a heart attack in the making.
Steer clear of pretty much everything that isn’t popcorn for that matter.
Everything is frozen and then microwaved or thrown in a turbo oven. It’s all extremely low quality and overpriced. Not only that, but some of it is just plain gross (Ex. Hot Dogs) and typically nothing on display, aside from popcorn, is fresh.
Running late to your next theater to clean? Brush it under the seats.
Ushers 100% push things under the seats. When short staffed and it’s busy, they just don’t always have the time to pick up every kernel before moving to the next theater to clean. Keep your purses, jackets, etc. off the floors.
Kids throw up often and everywhere imaginable.
There’s about a 50/50 chance that anywhere you are standing or sitting in a theater has been vomited on at some point by some kid that didn’t know his limits. Ever clean puke off of a CEILING? I have.
We know, we just don’t care.
Yes, we saw you take that large popcorn bucket out of the garbage. Do we care? No. Do we think you’re a disgusting piece of human trash? You betcha. We also know you Movie hop, and we probably won’t stop you (management probably won’t either. They make most of their $ from concessions so you just being in the building is a good thing). Also, we are very aware of all the snacks in your purse, we just really don’t care enough to speak up about it.
It’s a business composed of mostly high school and college students…. and is as efficient as you’d think.
Its cliquey, drama filled, people are incompetent, and leads on the floor who are in charge of the day to day stuff don’t know how to manage people (that was me). I once witnessed a coworker (who was later promoted to manger btw) literally smash a register with his face. You are getting the service of a glorified lemonade stand.
“You too”
When we say “enjoy the movie” and you respond with “you too” it’s not funny. Unless it’s 9am and you just walked through the door first, we’ve heard it countless times that day already. Just walk away.
Men’s Bathrooms stay hilariously clean while Women’s bathrooms are hilariously dirty
Something about women’s restrooms at a theater say “S**t all over the place”. In the 5 years I worked at a theater, women’s rooms had to be full on closed for cleaning regularly, while I don’t remember ever having to close a men’s room other than for serious plumbing or electrical issues.
Kids movies are the worst for ushers.
You want to strike fear in the heart of an usher? Say “Sold out Frozen showing.” Kids are messy and parents usually have too much of a handful to clean up after them at a theater. A 300+ seat sold out theater for a children’s movie looks like a tornado went through it and spread popcorn, sodas, candy and various other items all over the place. These cleanings take a full staff, and 20+ minutes to clean (2x-3x the time of a typical theater). “Get the push broom”
No one gets paid enough to care.
A typical usher/vendor is making minimum wage (or less in some cases), Leads make SLIGHTLY more, and managers SLIGHTLY more than that. Complaining to a manager making 8-9$ an hour is completely futile. Your problems mean nothing to them.
Ticket prices are set by movie studios, and profits are taken by movie studios.
Theaters only take in about 1$ for every ticket sold, the rest goes to the studio. That’s why concessions are so expensive. If popcorn and soda weren’t astronomically expensive, theaters wouldn’t survive.
People try to get everything for free
Many customers will look for any excuse to get free stuff. They see us throwing out old popcorn, they want some for free (and some have dumpster dove for it 🤢), If they didn’t like a movie, they want a refund. Sorry, you paid to see it, we can’t unsee it for you. Any small slip up is another attempt for someone to get free stuff. Unless a projector goes down or something is full on cancelled, or you have to leave for an emergency, it’s not gonna be given to you.
Kicking kids out of Rated-R movies is FUN
Like I said, ushers and employees fully know what’s going on, we just gauge our level of action on how much we care. As for teenagers sneaking into rated R movies, we don’t care that it’s technically theft, kicking them out is just so damn fun! Maybe I’m just twisted, but seeing the look of panic on their faces when you walk in after they think they pulled off the sneakiest move of their life, is a joy few get to experience.
This is just a TASTE of what happens while working at a theater. I’ll definitely be following up with some more shocking, disgusting, and dark points in a follow up to this. Keep your eyes open for part 2.
FlickFix 